My Creative Mojo

MEGHAN MCCAIN

After Meghan McCain criticized Ann Coulter and other conservatives in her online column, political commentator Laura Ingraham criticized Meghan’s weight, comparing her to a plus sized model. Meghan then appeared on The View and continued the volley by saying to Ingrahm, “Kiss my fat ass.”

To avoid further escalation, John McCain stepped up to his daughter’s aid on live TV and said, “Meghan’s fat ass is fundamentally sound.”

LYNNE CHENEY

On Monday, Lynne Cheney was taken to a Philadelphia hospital where she was treated for fainting. Doctors determined the fainting spell was caused when she realized she was married to Dick Cheney.

FRONTIER AIRLINES

Frontier Airlines is looking for investors.
Have you tried looking somewhere around 2002-2006?

NO TEXTING DURING LENT

Roman Catholic Bishops have been urging the faithful to give up technology for lent, and some dioceses are banning text messaging on Fridays. Replied millions of young people, ROTFLMFAO.

SURVIVING THE RECESSION AFTER A JOB LOSS

Despite the recession, a few industries are bucking the trend and expanding, so to all those laid off workers trying to survive until the economy turns around, your best bet is to find a company that has a unique mix of work involving home gardening supplies, resume editing, and making condoms.

CHARLIE SHEEN’S TWINS

Actor Charlie Sheen & his wife Brooke Mueller welcomed twin boys, who were born smoking cigars and drinking hard alcohol.

13 FIRMS THAT OWE BACKTAXES

On Thurday it was reported that 13 Firms receiving federal bailout owe back taxes, which is an odd discovery considering the firms have not been appointed to cabinet positions.

AIG

In a 60 Minutes interview, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke admitted that he was angry about the situation with AIG, and slammed his phone several times, calling the executives a bunch of F-A-I-G’s.

Republican Senator chuck Grasley caused quite a stir when he suggested that AIG’s top executives ought to apologize to the public and then quit or commit suicide. Later he told reporters that he hoped no one took him seriously when he suggested suicide as an honorable solution for the top execs, because the payout for the life insurance policies on these executives is enough to sink AIG again.

In other news, AIG just gave bonuses to Charlse Manson, Hitler, and Hurricane Katrina.

THIS WEEK IN STATISTICS

3 out of 5 males over 35 and still living at home with their parents would gladly kiss Meghan McCain’s ass.

A new Gallup poll conducted on March 17 finds that 59% of Americans are outraged by the AIG bonuses. However, even more alarming, 68% are outraged over the Facebook redesign.